this space is becoming what it was several back, again - abandon.
nonetheless, it still is the space for me to pen down my thoughts, my works and some randomness.
learning and improving my traits, this space and domain has served me well for the last 10 years.
i have since installed and uninstalled many CMS, blogs and gallery before i settled on this- wordpress, and have since set up a portfolio page which has taken many lazy years to complete.
in having the portfolio page, i have since removed the redirection page to this blog to protect my privacy.
i'm a quarter of a year late to pen this, but like i always tell the rest- no, i dont know, i dont want and i dont care.
2011, anything else that has nothing to do with work, has to be the same and normal as every other year.
majority of last year was spent on job hunting, and boozing.
there are reasons in every other months to encourage me into job hopping- from being overlooked, to being used to fill gaps every now and then, too many in between and to the recent 1/3 month bonus.
just a month ago, my boss called to ask me to fill gap, again, for the departing engineer for a project onsite. and along the conversation, she told me to understand the company's stand in distributing the bonus- the amount of contribution presented. i am sick of crying injustice after bringing up that the company's meagre budget do not allow me to do many things and not me not wanting to do anything. while i was still bemoaning about that pathetic bonus that left me fuming off the christmas celebration last year, the news that i was not even suppose to get any bonus at all until my boss fought for me crushed me. my somewhat good time management that allowed me to go home on time more often, had others thinking i was doing nothing for the last 2 years. some motivation to carry on my job hunting. bad thus far though.
i probably have spent thousands since i started the drinking sessions with my co-workers 2-3 years ago.
along the way, i have also done many things that i know i shouldnt have done, and maybe regretted.
but comparing to the thousands accumulated from the various taxi fares, meals, $300 subsidy for a camera, $300 subsidy for the iphone, at least i knew i was appreciated, had fun and most importantly nobody throwing random tantrum me. for all the money, time and effort spent, all i want was that moment of appreciation, little tantrum and not the big temper and worst, sudden total disappearance from existence.
for all the bad luck and karma i have accumulated and encounted, a little good luck is swinging my way this year, like the chinese horoscope over the CNY show have predicted. okay, at least i hope.
though nearly anything to happen is impossible, i am glad that i have actually met my dream girl. in dream girl, i mean literally "dream" girl. while honestly i forgot how she looked like in my dream, it was the name that i remember till now. although i somewhat believed that saying out dreams openly will make it not come true, i thought it might be something joyous for me to share after years of ranting and complaining, and who knows when i will even post another entry again. sure enough, thinking that i will be meeting and speaking to her soon just made me happier.
a long entry today, after 4 months.
hopefully the next time i login to write something will be about me having my job changed or a step closer to my dreams come true.
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in all respects to your god, he must have taken note of your bad karma from all the nasty things you have done while uttering holy words in his name with your dirty mouth.
i aint good either, but i am watching my words for the things i have done thus far.
god bless.. you? food for thought.
Facebook is definitely a more convenient place to post my thought of the moments but I realized with the more friends I have, the lesser things I can post..
Sigh.
This blog has too many secrets.
with most of my time spent on my PS3, drinking with the gang and not forgetting my portfolio, i also forgot this blog that has kept most of my secrets.
i have abadoned it for a good half year.
probably a new template after i get another portoflio up.
meanwhile, http://d.reality.per.sg/
I am enjoying that little flirtation.
In fact I think I like it.
Too bad it seem to have died down.
Oh well.
ima spoilt kid.
honestly, i didnt like what i was told today by the boss.
despite the numerous ranting, grumbling and complaining amongst the lunch people, whatever i was assigned to do, i did it.
probably nobody knew the effort, but i tried my best most of the time.
when i was told "she is so quiet and people bully her, "unlike you complain so much" and "i spoilt you", i thought "what the fuck?".
she is one of my indian colleague of another department, supposingly to help me with my load end last year.
true enough, she is quiet.
so much so that when i didnt ask, nothing would arrive.
i took the effort to send out certain mailers on certain dates, she took mc on that day. noone probably realised it but i took it by stride to follow it. of course, noone realised it.
quiet, to the extend of simply ignoring my reminders to update some slides, and it became my job again.
the boss knew i complaint to defend myself, yet unknown to her, she remaining quiet is her way of bullying people.
and unknown to the boss again, i got bullied.
spoilt? like fuck.
i asked for a headcount to support me, and the MD got the same indian gir to help me because she can write.
fair enough, she writes. and then she stopped writing without informing until the day of submission.
and for this one piece of mailer of few paragraphs, the boss said "its your fault that i have to takeover her department." indirectly, the shit.
how is it my fault? had my reasoning not make sense, and had she not been a redundant staff who has been seen as doing nothing much, would the MD throw her to the boss? had she really been contributing in her then department, would her then boss allow her the transfer?
if asking her to do what she has been doing all the while is called being bullied, then what is asking me to do the same things?
for her quietness that resulted her of "being bullied", i have to take over some of her jobs that dont even need alot of attention.
like i told the boss, if the task she assigned are those that i can do, i will do it. since i already anticipated it coming, fine.
i ranted to the HR this evening that i will return the words they, whoever, said to me when i leave.
- the MD, "you cannot design." the ultimate.
- SD, "they need to justify your headcount." despite i'm the only soul and spirit in that department.
- the CFO, "you can do mah. " even after umpteenth times hinting him that i would not be the one doing so in the future.
- the boss, "i have spoilt you." like fuck.
watch this space.
some people sure doesn't change despite some changes in life, of course, unless the change is planned for. come to think of it, maybe it is. with the abundance in luxury weeks before, it make sense to stage a "hit and run robbery".
just like leopard never changes it's spots, the lies, the craps and the materialism never left the person. it's not difficult to not believe and it's even much more not difficult to verify that.
i know being racist is bad enough but i cant help but be further prejudiced towards that certain religion. more than enough has been done prior to this incident for me to damn this person a lying-hypocritical-attitude-dishonest-materialistic preacher, and now another (lame&lousy) lie. not that i really care if it is a lie, but whatever for?
so much for thanking god for this and that. better thank god for finding you another carrot you probably dont deserve.
i dont need you, maybe from the start, so please fuckoff 
far far away 
starting to lose the interest in the silly hide-and-seek tweets.. and thats gonna be for the better
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considering a new domain..